from the pages of Patrick's
Personal Spiritual Journal
The problem with quiet time with God is not that I have to be with God--I long for that. It's that i have to be with myself. The to do list is ignored. No TV can distract, Even the noise of my children fades away. And as soon as it all disappears-- there I am.
Quiet time for me begins with the sense that I am looking in a mirror. But since my view of myself is distorted, it's a bit like looking in a fun house mirror. The image is ugly. Ugly in part because of truth and uglier still because of lies. One cannot face God withou facing himself. This may be the first harrowing thing about God. Life is easier lived in ignorance of self. Not in selflessness, but in a lack of self-awareness.
Being aware of myself is one of my greatest disappointments in life.
God, help me cope with the mirror today and and learn to love my somewhat ugly image as you love it.
Patrick is Routine Revelation. These are entries from his personal spiritual journal. Most entries were written several years before they were published. For more on Rev. Riecke, click here.